Less Than Half A Decade And I’m Still Smarter Than You
Today is my birthday and I don’t feel older, but I do feel wiser. Case in point. I was in a conversation with somebody much younger than me who stated that the Nintendo was “so retro”.
In my opinion; I classify “retro” as Disco, Punch Cards, B&W Television, Basic Cable included HBO, MTV had more than 20 videos.
Does this make me old or wiser? I believe its wiser. Why? Because I know where today’s technology came from. But, I have to say that many people my age are also ignorant to what I know. I wish I had a nickel every time somebody I went to high school with sent me a private message on Facebook and asked me to help them create a resume because they couldn’t figure out how to use a Word Processing application.
You Have Become My Grandfather
I still remember the day my Grandfather walked in to the kitchen with tears in his eyes. When I asked him what had made him so sad, he replied, “Christy (His favorite teller at his bank) told me she couldn’t chat unless she charged me $2.50″.
I tried to explain to this broken hearted old man that Banks were encouraging people to use ATMs and Online Banking. However, these things were alien to him. All he knew was that this young girl was no longer willing to chat with him when he deposited his social security check without charging him a fee. Bless my Grandpa’s heart when he said “In my day I could have hired a girl for some fun for only $2.50″.
Why Do You Cling To Old Tech?
I understand that not everybody can afford to drop $2500 on the latest and greatest computers or $300 on a new smartphone. But, you can not expect your DVD to play from your VHS player or Madden 2014 to run on your Atari 2600 .
So why would you expect a prospective employer to look at your resume created in WordPerfect formatting? What were you expecting when you bought your kids a PlayStation and they laughed at you cause you couldn’t find the HDMI port on your 10 year old television?
Pick up a magazine. Read a newspaper. Online hopefully, because both are about to become extinct. Which leads to my next point.
Lose The Paper
Why are you still getting mail? Seriously. The United States Postal Service should not exist today. But it does because you’re too lazy to request online billing, statements and banking.
“But I need proof!”
Bah. Everything delivered digitally is available online. These things are still accessible when your house burns down unlike the folder files you put in that cute $39.99 file cabinet from Walmart.
I found it hysterical when I heard that most people wouldn’t have Donald Trump proof of their birth if they were asked to provide such documents. The most common response was “I’ll have to check storage”.
I can pull mine off of the “cloud” from a secure folder inside of 3 minutes.
I have access to all of my medical records.. and better.. so do my doctors.. from a website. I won’t deal with a doctor that doesn’t use mychart.org. Everything that is written down or typed in to a chart is available to any doctor that knows how to access it. My 68 year old doctor is more paperless than you are. That’s pathetic.
So Here’s What I’ve Learned
My under-educated classmates from high school and college have produced very happy families. The same people are frustrated because the wages from 1987 aren’t available anymore. They’re also pretty angry that they have to learn new skills; Skills they probably should have been learning 20 years ago instead of investing in to a mindless factory job.
I learned that I am able to adapt much quicker to new tech than my peers are. My peers are still stubborn and believe that a buck can be made with their hands. I have realized that my peers also believe that they deserve $14-$40/hour to assemble computer components and are infuriated when Chinese people are willing to work for $13/day to do the same thing.
I’ve learned that people still believe in God even when Science provides evidence that we’re an anomaly and on our own. Faith is a beautiful, community binding thing. But, to ignore science is edging dangerously closer to Religion becoming a Cult.
I’m not asking people of Faith to give up their “God”. But, I am asking them to think twice about the ancient rituals and rules.
Skip Religion.. Lets Talk End of Days..
In forty-four years I’ve learned that life on Earth could end on any day. It could be Yellowstone blowing or somebody in Iran who smoked one too many bong hits to end life as we know it. Be realistic. The fact that we not only sustain life on this planet, but are able to evolve to point that we can pay our credit card bills online is evidence enough that we have done more in 100 years than any religion has done in 2000 years. Skip the collection basket next Sunday.
I realize that this sounded like an anti-Religion rant. However, I am just relaying what I have learned and experienced over the past 44 years of my life. I have been “Religious” and I have lived without Religion. My life has been the same. If you need it to get through your day then I’m not knocking it. But, life is tough. So, don’t give credit to that unseen magical being for what you have accomplished.
Christopher “SpyderBite” Whalen